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WOMEN WHO TAUGHT ME LESSONS

WOMEN WHO TAUGHT ME LESSONS

*Brig. Rattan Kaul

1949 Picture of a Hindu religious ceremony, Kashmir (India)

Watching child prodigy say ‘loser has to kiss someone’ followed by ‘Puch- Puch’ raised my heckles at the child's temerity to be so bold only to fizz out next moment when the adult model tells him ‘abhi tumahara time hai’. What a pity, bold child gave in so tamely and not stood ground. The promo transcended me to my childhood when I had got sobriquet of 'Blue Eyed Toddler' for whatever qualities physical or otherwise I had.

As youngest, two year old in the divided family, I required only 15 feet courtyard dividing the two households to cross every morning, climb another ten stairs to reach my grandmother Bhawani Ded’s puja room. It did not matter that elders were not on speaking terms; for I had to take prasad from her, come what may. Stern stare of elders, possibly to dissuade me and stop intrusions, never worked due to my ‘could not careless’ attitude for a mission of my liking. That was lesson One. This ritual stopped only with her death a year later, though as a crawler I did keep up the ritual for sometime but her short memories had inculcated ‘could not careless’ attitude in me. .

Howling as four year old should have been a potent weapon to get what you want till one day I changed my mind that it is not always so. My howling to get more than my share did provoke my grandaunt, Amma Ji, to pierce my left ear with a needle and left me bewildered to force me to do something; radical. I grabbed what I wanted and coolly walked off. Lesson number two; once you have set your heart and mind on something , get it whatever way you like it.

As a five year old I had tough time to have my mother's attention in the presence of some relatives and reached apical level when another grandaunt, Radhamal, to keep me quiet, thrust nasvar {Snuff} into my nostrils. Not for long; after short sneezing bout had stopped, I snatched her ornately carved silver nasvar casket and threw it from the 2nd floor window. The melee that followed ensured dispersal of all in search operations; except my mother. She had understood that her son wanted her attention and patiently heard me. Of course I had to do the vanishing trick to avoid ire of Radhamal. Well when you want to convey something, ensure you convey it in time and that was lesson number Three.

As a seven year old, watching Zoonat Lambardar (Village Head} on a horseback in early 5O's}, with high Kashaba {Muslim women Headgear of early days}, was as good as watching Hillary Rodham Clinton in a limousine as President of US, with a difference. Her's was a forceful voice; giving orders, tamely obeyed even by men-folk. No wonder she was such a success in Wadipora. Her example multiplied my confidence and control acumen; forceful and self confident, which stood test of time during my Army days. Lesson number Four.

My mother always spent hours with her foster mother Khuraj, whenever Khuraj visited our place and the visits were frequent even after I was ten year old. Naturally it peeved me to be deprived of my mother's attention for so long and her foster mother hogging the limelight. It is then I decided to act. ..err ...plead with Khuraj Ded to reduce her visits to enable us to be with our mother for more time. She did; ...plead with reason when need be. ...Aah that is lesson number Five.

By this time I had acquired the sobriquet of ‘Cat eyed brat’ for many qualities acquired with more encounters, episodes, pranks, experience and a list of Do's and Not Don’ts I had graduated to the teens and on the steps of adulthood a poetic expression took me by storm ………

Stood I under the shade of a tree
Smooth with laid green grass,
A pretty star looked out
Through the evening window.

There was no other soul
That saw what I could see,
I stood and watched the star
As long as she watched me.

Next few years, as I stepped into adulthood, the ‘expression’ had transformed me to learn spirit of self-sacrifice, human compassion and love, purity of thoughts and the art of living from someone close. The life had taken a meaning; but before I knew, the dream was lost; not for compassion but for the value of self sacrifice. I stepped into adulthood; not without a lesson and but with a loss, though high on self values. The years rolled in guilt and pangs; forlorn till the lesson revealed a puritanical road to stay on line. The angel took all the burden on her shoulders steering me to a life of values, to live for someone close and that made my family. She taught me no lessons but we learnt lessons together…….

Graceful smile of heaven’s hand
Smiling beauty that’s spun afar.
Lovely and chaste like white sand,
A veil of wonder laced in light.

Gently on a summer eve
Giving magic to the lifeless,
Each snowflake like a falling star
Till unspoken poem hushed night.

*Brigadier Rattan Kaul was commissioned in 4/5 Gorkha Rifles {Frontier Force}, where he served for nearly 25 years. As a young Captain, he took part in 1965 War against Pakistan with his unit. In Nagaland he, in a raid, accompanied by only few of his men, apprehended Chief Secretary to then Underground Self Styled President of Nagaland {NSCN}, from his hideout. During Bangladesh War 1971, as an assault Rifle Company Commander he led his company in a Khukri assault on a Company of 31 Punjab Pakistan Army at Atgram {Sylhet District- East Pakistan; now Bangladesh}.

In first ever heliborne operation of Indian Army, conducted by 4/5 Gorkha Rifles {Frontier Force} on 7 December 1971 Brigadier Kaul, then a major, was forward rifle company commander and was seriously injured in the Battle of Sylhet. In 1974 he was amongst top ten officers to be selected for Staff College, for a year long professional course at Wellington. Apart from foreign assignment Brigadier Rattan Kaul commanded an infantry brigade in Punjab, during militancy and was awarded COAS Commendation for his exceptional work in Khem Karan Sector. In 1997 he stepped into Industry and served as Vice President, Birla’s.

An HRD, Management and Defence Analyst he has many books on military history and plethora of articles on History, Defence Concepts and Kashmir Centric papers to his credit. He was the one to bring, for the first time in more than 70 years, latest photograph of more than 1000 years old Sharda Temple in Pakistan Occupied Kashmir and share it with Goddess Sharda’s worshippers in India. His Kashmir centric articles are available on the net including latest article, a path breaking one, on ERA ABBERATIONS BY KALHAN IN RAJATARANGINI. For the first time since 1149 AD someone has analysed the dates of Kings Chronology of the Rajatarangini critically and found aberrations in Kalhan’s book.

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Comments

Hi, You are a big joke, not only have your downgraded the women but putting a thoughts into young kids how to mishave. Please keep your teachings to your own self. Rindir

Added By Rindir Kaushal