THe Barter of Marriages
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Lavished weddings form an important part of our tradition. So many in fact the majority in bulk, among-st us have grown up with the dream(s) of getting married in a beautiful, lavished and posh manner, planning to feed the farthest of the kith and kin with the whole-sum of seven, eight, nine, twelve and many more varieties of food(s), with extended desserts and juices, cold-drinks, dry-fruits and so much more, just to make the mention of the least. Then our self developed and evolved System; the development of it has been fostered in such a way that the father of the daughter is molded to a condition much pitiable than the sheep who lies at the feet of the butcher with his gaze at the sharp edge of the knife that anytime can touch his tender vein fostering his breathing and thus keeps his body and soul together.
From the day of her birth, the parents are made to take a heavy load over their shoulders, which in a (straight forward) way, they want to get rid of, as soon as possible. In our society especially the girl is visualized staunchly as a huge huge burden with the sole capability of doing house-hold chores; giving birth to children with her personal responsibility to deliver a male child, growing them up and be an order taker for the whole of her life, beginning with the father's obedience followed by her husband's and dying at the mercy of her sons. The greatest turn and the most crucial one in her life is marked by her marriage; that too is decided by her elders with her no say in it. To the greatest extend it is her luck that gets to twist the dice for her while she in mute spectates and keeps her fragile fingers crossed at the smile or frown of the lady luck at her. Throughout her childhood and adolescence she is suppressed and questioned at every act of hers. She is given no freedom and her breathing at times may be put to questions. The tender feelings of childhood, adolescence and the butterflied stomach all are marred to the choices of the elders and the acceded (null) norms of the society. That tender instinct of infatuation, which fumed a strong sensation in between her ribs and the look into the eyes for less than a quarter of a second that gripped her whole being was self killed only because the elders and the accepted norms condemned it. This way the beautiful and fragrant spring emerging from her tender bosom is barred to flow and beautify her existence. She grows up and up and up in this whole process where her thoughts and feelings are either killed by the elders and the society or in fear, anxiety or respect she herself does the deeds. The emotions turn plain and living turns existence. She breaths in, that necessarily fosters breathing out and thus she survives. Then one fine day, the decision comes from the elders that she by now ought to be married, as the society and the accepted system guides them to. While she was never allowed to take even a look at some-one, she now is asked to see, meet and interact with the set(s) of strangers. Never was she allowed to beautify herself but now she is asked to look her best. She is expected to accept this abrupt-ion all of a sudden with no questions and no resistances. Like any item of show and pomp she is presented in presented in decorations at the exhibition of the breathing beings and the liking for the 100% home-made product is awaited and anticipated. If the item is liked it is sold; however the nature of the sale is entirely opposite and different. The purchasers are beset-ted with the deals much luring than that of the 'Big Bazaar, V-Mart, Snap-Deal, Jabong and the like. The purchasers get a lady well versed in running the household, with too many gifts, lot and lots of dowry products including the daily-use household stuffs; only to make me wonder how then till now, this house-hold was run?, expenses of the marriage, mouth watering feasts and the other items vary from deal to deal and budget to budget. Then a suppressed being is moved and transferred from one edge to another.The system, elder and society expect her to give her 100% be it her honor, body, soul, dedication, manual labor or anything else. The system strictly asks her to keep her tongue and feet as short as possible. At the time of her marriage, her father is supposed to keep his neck even lower and be ready to take and make any and every 11th hour demand of the purchases family due. Any inability or delay will lead him to grave trouble.If the demands will remain unfulfilled the boy's family can backup at any time and leave the item there, un-purchased and discarded. The system and society highly discards such items of religion and the accepted norms are such that once rejected items seldom find one another purchaser and thus are considered to be a bolt on the father's forehead. Are we not living in a wonderful society? with wonderful society and even wonderful system? And the ever wonderful elderly people? We indeed are! One half of our population is living in shags, misery and oppression, while the other half in equally opposite circumstances. This latter half however towards the next phase of their lives gets to face the repercussions of what is done with the former and no one raises a voice against the illicitly wrong and corrupted system. Just a mistake of birth to be born as a girl and not a boy, the female folk gets to live a complete of suffering and misery. Perhaps why a mistake? If there will be a 100% population of males only, the human race will end in not more then next 80 years. Is that not better than what is being done with the equally important other gender? Let the animals take the change.The human race is corrupted. It has corrupted against itself, against one another and against itself. The other animals, plants, birds and insects are living a much blessed life with the guiding principles of live and let live; which we have forgotten long, long ago... |
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 Dhaar Mehak(Is a free lance writer and an undergraduate economics student) |
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