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KANTA RAZDAN 1928 (Srinagar, KMR, India) - 2014 (Atlanta, GA, USA) |
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Dear Family and Friends, As an integral part of our Indian American community and mainstream America, I have scripted and edited many obituaries and eulogies in the past in USA, especially in Georgia. This one, however, in particular is a very personal, difficult and an emotional one for my family and me as I chose to write my own mother’s obituary with mixed feelings. Notwithstanding my own unpredictable emotional self-control during the forthcoming memorial/cremation service in honor of my mother on Saturday, I chose to write a few paragraphs about her now, than risk the fumble later at the Eulogy. I also hope God will give me the courage and the forbearance to speak more (though never enough) about her at the Saturday (Dec 27) memorial service at the Wages Funeral Home in Stone Mountain, Georgia. No matter how old we are, when our parents depart, we suddenly find ourselves feeling orphaned. Parents have been the pillars of our lives. Both visible and invisible bonds link us to them (whether they are with us or not with us) and their deaths can shake us to the very core. |
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Over the past few years, my mother had suffered from diabetes, developed gangrene and was bed-ridden for the last 13 months under hospice care at home. She outlived all the pessimistic pundits (doctors) expectations of remaining 15 days (last year) of life to almost 13 months. Never once did her fortitude waver during that long illness as her gangrene fully recovered! My mother Kanta, Raj (my wife) and I would watch Indian TV channels in Atlanta, especially Zee TV soaps regularly-consequently I myself mastered the knowledge, the plots and the names of the TV serial/soap stars! Last few days, she had a bout of Pneumonia succumbing ultimately to depart for her heavenly abode. Kanta, born and raised in Srinagar, Kashmir, was a granddaughter of Prasad & Bonimal Dhar and daughter of Sat Lal & Vanamal Dhar. Kantjigri (Kanta dear) as she was known before her marriage to those who knew and loved her in the well-known Dhar mohalla of Srinagar at the banks of river Jhelum, was also often referred as the ‘princess’ (metaphorically) of that Dhar mohalla-primarily for her beauty and demeanor. At the young teen age, she married Prithvi Nath Razdan, grandson of Vishamber Nath Razdan and son of Bhagwan Das-Vesha Mal Razdan of Badgam (outskirts of present Srinagar), Kashmir, India. While her husband (late) P.N. Razdan subsequently (after marriage) got his MA, LLB, DSW from Lucknow, UP (around the same time as Atal Vajpayee Ji) and ultimately retired as the Chief Labor Commissioner of India, Kanta (aka Pyari Bhabhi affectionately and even some times Lady Mountbatten with her in-laws for her elegance) was primarily a homemaker. Kanta, who probably did not go beyond middle school, could read and write fluently in Hindi and Urdu as a teen-ager and probably could teach a Hospitality 101 course to the elite! She loved oldies of Bollywood/Soraiya era, especially the evergreen song “Awaaz de kahan” of Noor Jehan! Kanta traveled extensively in India (Srinagar, Badgam in Kashmir; Godhra, Baroda and Ahmedabad in Gujarat; Jabalpur in M.P; Mumbai in Maharashtra and of course many years in Delhi). After retirement, my parents moved with us in USA, almost a score year ago. To me personally, while my Dad pushed me hard in the academic and the professional arena, my mother was particular about how well I was being fed. When she looked at me as a growing son, she envisioned a charming daughter-in-law and a few grandkids while hoping her son made his home not too far from her own home. She got all her wishes fulfilled except having her son in India with her. K sera, sera! As destiny would dictate, she ultimately moved with us and graced us by spending rest of her life with us in Atlanta and with grand children being her crowning glory! As most mothers’ do, she too took the lead in establishing her son’s worldview. She taught me the importance of trust and friendship and respect for the elderly. She constantly reminded me of time spent and patience with children is never wasted and becomes a beacon that inspires and propels the next generation of your own life. I guess she felt I was not spending enough time for and with them (my children) and would often say if you lose that time; you may never get it back! Among all the lessons, the best one was how to bargain with the vegetable vendor who would bring us daily veggies right up to our house door in Delhi! She would save a few pennies on bargaining for the vegies but would spend more in feeding even the Vegetable vendor. That was mother Kanta! If there is one word that would describe her personality, it would be “hospitality”. She was a great chef and her hospitality was primarily directed towards feeding and feeding and feeding (till indigestion-LOL, likewise, there are many other stories) her guests based on the principle “Atithi Devo Bhava-Guest of God” regardless of economic status-be a VVIP associate of my Dad (Labor ministry) or a common person from his office or even from the neighborhood. Likewise, my Aravali dorm mates at IIT Delhi would be eagerly awaiting her specially cooked cuisine (Kashmiri non-veg). Many times I would know about it only after my foodie friends had finished it all. She made life a little nicer for everyone who knew her through her hospitality. Her departure marks the end of her generation in the Razdan family! Kanta is survived by and as follows: Brother Bushan Lal and Kiran Dhar & family in India; cousin Dr. Pushkar Nath and Leela Kaul & his family in USA; son Subash Razdan, daughter-in-law Raj Buju Razdan, grandson Dr. Rahul and Petra Razdan & family, and grandson Dr. Rishi Razdan and Breanna Razdan. Mother was blessed with a peaceful and instant departure for a better place only a few minutes after the morning breakfast at home in bed in Atlanta while chatting with me, past Saturday Dec 20, 2014. We miss her dearly and wish she were still here. But I am also aware that the years we spent together in Atlanta, we said pretty much everything we had to say to each other and therefore not much unfinished business. That makes me feel like a lucky son. When it comes to my mother, there’s nothing else I would have hoped for! We thank you all for your support, food and prayers; keeping us in thoughts, numerous phone calls across the globe, etc., etc. to cope with the loss. Many have inquired about bringing food and flowers in her memory. In lieu of food and flowers, if we may take the liberty to suggest, a voluntary contribution (only if you wish) in her memory, payable towards one of the following two tax-exempt charitable, non-profit organizations shall be cherished: 1. American Diabetes Association of (tel. # 800-342-2383) and/or 2. Senior Citizens Program (SCP), Inc., 4059 Keswick Drive, Atlanta, Georgia-30339, USA. (Kanta often enjoyed the camaraderie at the SCP events). We will celebrate and honor her life (well-lived) by bidding her final goodbye with strength, devotion and laughter on Saturday, December 27, 2014 at Wages & Sons Crematory, 1040 Main Street, Stone Mountain, Ga-30086. USA. With gratitude and thanks, Subash (770-365-6516), Raj (678-910-0321), Rahul-Petra, Rishi-Breanna Razdan and family. Reply email: subashrazdan@gmail.com |
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