![]() Youth Sections "The Dynamos of progress (Eternal Life)" |
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‘I am practical…’
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![]() Antra has been an editor for a number of journals and magazines in college and some of her articles have also been published in The times of India, Hindustan times and The state times(Local Daily of Jammu). She is also an active member of the Youth Parliament in Delhi, India. |
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Biggest problem with all kashmiri pandits ( Including me ) is that we enjoy services ( working for some one ). Once we stop working for some one - we will settle at a place ( wherever we are ). Being with family or close to ( Parents / In laws ) and surrounded with community / relatives makes the community bonding perfect. So - this is non stoppable because of above reason plus we are small community and it is difficult for kids to have choices.
Added By Dilip Peshin
But i want to tell as our community is very less let's preserve not go with the flow. we need to focus otherwise we will be extinct in next 50 years . We are originial kashmiri we have to be proud of our kashmiri pandit culture. The basic we do is teach your children kashmiri which our original language . Please preserve
Added By herat raina
battas have proved that everything can change but WE.The process of getting a kp marriage for both boy/girl is most difficult thing on the mother earth and thats y we have adopted shortcut to marry outside with no pangs and then no problms of rituals that a kp family has to complete in the first year of marriage.
Added By ravi raina
later when kps got security of bread and butter they came to the originals of our culture were we kps are best critics and redicule ourselves find faults and everything which describes a typical kashmiri batta. starting from matching of tekni which we dont know y and then finding faults in biodatas etc. but the enquiries and matching of teknis etc remain absent when it comes to marrying outside. We
Added By ravi raina
few years later they got educated and started luking for better prospects and standards of life and married mid class of indians again for better socio economic life and got some relief to parents
Added By ravi raina
the 90 generation who lived in tents and camps saw hardships of extreme and wanted to have a life with basic facilities of life so married outside were they could get them easily at that time
Added By ravi raina
These are not only factors but much more needs to be understood kps are called wangun the brinjal rightly nicknamed coz we mingle with every one
Added By ravi raina
See it 2009, migration happened in 1990, so u were just 2yr old at that time. U might have been with ur parents till 15 -16 yrs, after that u might have landed in some eng. College and then job, means u were all-alone after 16. And that is adolescent’s age. The point I want to convey is, when our children needs us more for guidance and to teach them about our cultural values, they are far from us(parents).
Added By Satinder Dhar
And suddenly the parents appear again when the child is in his/her 20’s for marriage purpose. And there comes frustration in mind of child, as he/she does not want to disobey his/her parents and at the same time there is some other story going is his life. Above all the life culture going around makes him/her suspicious about arrange marriage, which u have already well said.
Added By satinder dhar
I admit parents now days are not passing their cultural values to their off-springs, due to hardship of life and toiling from morning to evening and still trying to switch loose ends.
Added By satinder dhar
But, Dear Anita it is call of Kashmiri Pandit Blood which call YOU and all the present young generation to have respect and belief on each-other while marrying thru arranged marriage. And believe me if you do love marriage within community no matter karkon or non-karkon, your parents will have a leave of satisfaction. God bless you. –Satin
Added By satinder dhar
marrying outside the community has accelerated after the migration episode when our boys and girls joined technical colleges outside the J&K state. Another reason is that finding a match within community is becomming more and more difficult with expanded education, scattered community and ambitious youngsters.
Added By ashok raina
namaskar, we as a community have members whose ancestors left the valley 2-3 centuries back and settled in the indian plains. they still follow the kashmiri culture and traditions , except few changes. their ancestors never went for inter caste marriage even at the time when there were no fast communication means like today. even at the times when the letters used to be the only medium and even at the times when there were no postal letters.
Added By Pt. Rudresh Kaul
they used to marry with both non-residing KPs and kashmir-residing KPs. they till few years back were really very strict about not marrying in other castes. but, today they also have many cases of inter-caste marriages happening. what urge is there to go for inter-caste marriages?
Added By Pt. rudresh kaul
at this point of time we need to understand that not only our communtiy but every indian community, may be of any region is going through transformation phase with respect to inter-caste marriages, these are no more forbidden, even in the less-educated. India, as a nation is on its path to become the world power, sooner or later. and in this process the whole indian population is facing such challenges.
Added By Pt. Rudresh Kaul
in our case, exodus has played a major role. but , then i know non-kashmiri people who 10 years back were not even speaking of inter-caste marriage and were against them like as if it was a big sin. but, today they have changed and have accepted the system. see, the point is that we can not ask anyone to not marry outside the community. Its a purely individual decision. if you marry a KP, very good. and if you do not then it isn't bad either.
Added By Pt. Rudresh Kaul
Antra Ji, Gone thru your article your argument and analysis is right but i want to know, about the ways and means to preserve our identity,and that too from you only because as an intellectual it is your duty to guide us in these hard times.For your kind information there are still some third gen K.P boys and Girls who believe in our traditions, who know fully about our system of dharma and worship,who r staunch followers and know their duty towards the community.
Added By Vinod Munshi
Koshur samachar publised at lajpat nagar from INDIA is stepping toward finish as people do not get copy and there is no body to take resposibility for the same,Can increse postage charges to make sure samachar reaches to the readers.with the present situation i doubt people will renew subscribe? This is one of the reason i feel. Rgds
Added By kuldeep kaul
Most of the arguments offered by the author are valid. It is difficult for young KP boys and girls meet. Even when they are willing to marry within the community, they do not get opportunities to explore. That only means that we should put in efforts to create institutions/occasions/events on a regular and permanent basis so that young boys/girls meet each other.
Added By Ravi Seru
By marrying outside your community you can come close to other Indians. Nothing wrong in that.
Added By ashfaq bhat
Only some pseudo-westernized KPs have married outside mainly for greed. The KPs are not money minded thus most KPs will continue to marry in their own clan. KPs are second to none intellectuals thus will not get seduced by goodies largely. Also once one marries outside and has problems the marriage is often over. KPs have survived since time immemorial; will survive in the future surely.
Added By I.Krishan. Koul
Dear Antra, hv gone thru the whole article,really impressed & its really good I go with what Mr.Ashok Rain has written "Marrying outside the community has accelerated after the migration episode when our boys and girls joined technical colleges outside the J&K state. Another reason is that finding a match within community is becomming more and more difficult with expanded education, scattered community and ambitious youngsters" Added Sunaina Pandita
Added By Sunaina pandita
Marriages are made in Heaven and Celebrated on Earth! Its all Karmilekha). so why to argue Be positive.
Added By Jyoti Pandita Safaya.
Going through your article, I found that you have given too many details about the types of Kashmiris but missed the main point that is marrying outside.
Added By Surinder Raina
It is true Kashmiri guys/gals are working mainly outside J & K and they do meet a lot of people. What I have seen in my proximity that they don’t even care about being a Kashmiri. They tend to show that they follow Kashmiri culture, but won’t do anything to really follow it. They will give the excuses that the person (outside Kashmiri) is the best choice for them in spite of knowing that they never looked for a Kashmiri match. Continue to my second post…
Added By Surinder Raina
They will just do it as if they are following some kind of fashion. The problem becomes worse when they fell in relationship with outside community person and their parents start searching the match. As a Kashmiri person, I know how our community has restored itself after terrorism struck us. We have emerged from struggling community to a flourishing one, but that should not be at cost of community dilution, rather I would say, the better Gene Pool. Hope you got my point.
Added By Surinder Raina
Read the article and the comments with great interest. The article presents the problem and the comments by many learned (if i may say so) kashmiri Pandits only show the unimaginable extent of the problem. The word IDENTITY is normally kicked around (as it is in the comments here) and is almost always used as a tool to kill/control the free will of numerous young men and women in this country.
Added By A sane Indian
Castes, regions, social identity, social status have all become more important to the parents than their child's happiness. For the kid, it’s nothing less that emotional blackmail. What people don't realise is that marriage is a personal thing; it is your son/daughter who has to live his life, share a bedroom a house, a kitchen with someone else and not you. (S)he and (S)he alone has the right to decide who to marry.
Added By A Sane Indian
But no, not in India, not within the KP community because for us being socially proud by boasting about how our sons and daughter follow what we say, is more important than their happiness. We resort to dramatic dialogues, emotionally blackmail our kids into following what we preach for just once cause- to keep our head high within the community, even if it comes at the cost of our own children's life.
Added By A Sane Indian
All i can say is SHAME ON US for being so self-centred and cruel with our own kids only because we want to show off to our peers in the community that we are the best kashmiri
Added By A Sane Indian
This is an important topic. While one may say that there are such instances, generalization would not be correct. If one is patient and devotes time (sometimes 2 years even), matches can be found within the community. I have recent examples of 2 cousins who are getting marrried after 1-2 year searches.
Added By Vijay Trisal
Well written article.Basic question is not marrying outside community .Basic thing is our young youth is not preserving the right kashmiri culture .Forget culture ,If one gets right person with true values outside community ,i dont think that is a issue .By marrying outside we will widen our culture.There will be acceptance of our culture everywhere .Every corner of world will get to know inter cultures if people chose partners according to their wish ,with no bar of caste,creed or community .
Added By Shivali tak
I agree with the article and it pretty much is true. Time we all saw sense guys.And if marrying in the community is the case, we might as well end up marrying our own friggin cousins.
Added By Tejas Kaul
Categorising people of community into three groups is Stereotyping. Being a writer or a blogger you should go through facts and figures,present the story of two ends of coin.The article you have written about is one of the most prominent topics, every kashmiri has a view about it. But considering your age, i would say in ur words go with the flow I m nt here to criticise u, just to show you your shortcomings as a writer on a certain topic
Added By Anshuman Kaul
I totally agree with all the view points. All people can't choose their loved ones for them their is koshar Samachar for there is a whole world.To answer some comments being with the right person for the rest of one's life is more important that carrying forward the tradition and who said if marrying ouside cast we can't carry forward the tradition . It depends on the "neeyat" of a person to respect his/her tradition it has nothing to do with marrying in cast.
Added By Rishabh Pandita
I was looking forward to some concrete analysis on a sensitive issue (at least to some), possibly with some relevant statistics. It turned out to be an incomprehensible concoction. Note to the Editor: Please could you do the typo checks before publishing?
Added By Rohit T
I was looking forward to a concrete analysis on a sensitive issue (at least to a few). Unfortunately, it turned out to be more of an incomprehensible concoction. Note to the Editor: Please could you do typo checks before publishing?
Added By Rohit T
i hope my comment does not get lost... may sumone reads it with proper concern....... although i am quite happy with so much kind of response this article has, we shows we all are concerned about our community. but is it not a matter of facts reality and compromises that we are getting married outside our community.
Added By komal koul
everyone has come out with some genuine explanations and reasons....... but no one has blamed J&K.. yes the so called heaven..... I BELIEVE OUR STATE IS ALMOST 3 DECADES BACK IN CASE OF DEVELOPMENT, TECHNOLOGY, INFRASTRUCTURE, SPORTS, TELEVISION, TRADE, INFORMATION, BUSSINESS AND WHAT NOT. we kashmiris move out of our city bcoz our parents and our community is too much intrested in growing developing and learning. we are never stopped by our parents to learn and grow and be independent.
Added By KOMAL koul
but if sumthing lacks behind is J&k.. south ppl donot hav to move,central people donot hv to mov bcoz those states are so much established that they donot hav to mov out of there place so not out of their culture. i m not against marrying out of community... vha baat sanskaro pe ati h.. + ladke ya ldki me itne gun ho ki family accept krle then y to stop two lovers. however i accept the fact that too much of marrying outside of community is gonna make our tradition lost...
Added By komal koul
BUT I BELIEVE TO OVERCOME THIS WE NEED j&k FAR MORE ADVANCED AND DEVELOPED THIS IS GONNA BRING US CLOSE.. LIVE WITH EACH OTHER , COME TOGETHER AND PROSPER... THIS WILL FILL THE GAP AND LESSEN OUR SPREAD..... BUT BUT BUT.. WE ARE NOT TERRORISTS WE ARE NOT IN POLITICS WE ARE NOT IN ADMINISTRATIONS, WE ARE NOT IN SOCIAL ACTIVITIES.... SO j&k IS NEVER GONNA GET INTO THAT STATE... SO THERE HAS TO BE COMPROMISE EITHER WAY.... THANK YOU... HOUH... :)
Added By komal koul
i agree with you but the fact still remains ...do we want that after couple of years we are history or we should still try and find out about certain reasons for all the mess.... Now tell me if you are knowing a person for 2-3 yrs one simply feels that there is understanding..same way if you live with aperson you slowly understand them...i dont think that love affairs are responsible for it ...its the mindset that we have...
Added By rashi m
Dear Antra, Gone thru ur article, nice written but.... I just wnat to say that even i am not against getting our daughters and sons married outside the community but dear Antra i would like to know then who is gonna to preserve our culture and community both is it not the duty of our youth like you to think about our community to preserve it otherwise we will also become extinct and a part of history. So,let us all give it a cool thought what is to be done ?........
Added By Dr. Sarjue pandita
I have read the article with interest to understand what young Kashmiri minds think of marrying outside caste.I would like to respond once I am able to collect my thoughts in writing.
Added By pushkar ganjoo
correction< I meant the 5th one!
Added By S Sher
Ur analysis is absolutely correct.The core reason for all such happenings is failure to institutionalize our systems;We still cannot because KP community has stll not learnt to live together,work in supporting mode to each other.One who want to continue so called Kashmiriyat need to be stronger at will and belief,and patient in finding right choice within KPs or otherwise world is all for us to find right mate at a cost, which youth may not find relevant but as one grows little heat is felt.
Added By Sidarth Revoo
Namaskar, The subject of the article is good but unfortunately the arguments are not very well thought out on paper. I have failed to make sense of the 4th paragraph as it comprises of a very convoluted line of thought. Simple Modern English please! Thanks.
Added By S Sher
Hi Anita, You have taken a very important, crucial subject to address. Going thru the article I was wondering and wanted to know your age? And at the end I read *Antra Bhatt is a 21 year old. And believe me, I got the answers for the questions, which were going thru my mind while reading.
Added By Satinder Dhar